


If I Can't Take the Whole of You, Give it to Me Anyway

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama, F/M, post-episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 02:38:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6685864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm just saying, working around here is not easy when you're someones ex."</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Can't Take the Whole of You, Give it to Me Anyway

“What’s next?”

They talked strategy for about an hour. Not once did CJ bother to mention that she had been the only one who was close to right about the numbers. She did not bother to mention the ostracizing and the redheaded stepchild thing. The hush-hush meetings she knew the boys had with the President. For God’s sake, Sam slept with a prostitute and allowed someone to get a picture of them together. Josh told Mary Marsh that her God was indicted for tax evasion, and Toby was Toby, varying from paranoid nudnik to a cruel jerk. Still, the door was always open for them. How many times could you walk into the Oval Office and say you're wrong? He looked at her like a daughter…he really had no idea how insulting that was. Zoey was his daughter; CJ was a professional woman with a Masters degree who could do this for a living anywhere in the world for ten times more the money. When would they realize that her being there was more to their advantage than to hers?

“Right CJ?” Mandy asked.

“I'm sorry.”

“Miami is done.”

“Yeah. Two weeks, and then the speech at Penn after that, the German State Dinner, the Belarusian Ambassador dinner, and then the town hall meeting in Rosslyn. I think we should schedule a few more of those for the summer sir.”

“I agree.” Sam and Josh said in unison.

“Maybe the Midwest.” Josh said.

“Definitely one in the South.” Sam said. “Don’t make it a big city. See if people will travel to see the President.”

“Except when they don’t I will look silly.” Jed Bartlet said.

“They’ll come sir.” Toby said. “Even the naysayers will travel to see the President…it will be like a Dylan show.”

“Thank you. I think.”

“OK folks.” Leo stood from the couch. “Good job; let’s call it a night.”

“Seriously?” Josh asked.

“No. Just leave the Oval Office.”

They all filed out of the room. Everyone tried to talk to CJ, congratulate her for the fantastic job she had done on the polling. She smiled and tried to be gracious but honestly it wasn’t in her.

“You’ll be here a while?” Toby asked her as they walked down the hall.

“Sure…but I am pretty busy.”

“Is that a polite way of telling me to leave you alone?”

CJ just looked at him, before closing her office door.

“She’s not happy right now.” Josh said.

“I know that.” Toby snapped. “I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Maybe we should say something to Leo.” Sam suggested.

“She would kill us.” Josh said. “CJ needs acknowledgement for the hard work she does. It should come naturally, not because we told the teacher she was upset.”

“Anyway, it’s the President she wants the acknowledgment from.” Toby said.

“I know I don’t know her as well as you and Josh, but I don’t think she needs acknowledgement.” Sam said. “She needs input and inclusion. Saying acknowledgement, even if it is not the word you mean, makes it sound very superficial, and other adjectives that may be attributed solely to her femininity.”

“Damn Sam.” Josh replied.

“That was deep.” Toby said.

A boot came flying out of CJ’s office. They all scattered but it clipped the side of Josh’s head.

“Ow! CJ!”

“If you are going to psychoanalyze me at least don’t do it in front of my door. Please move along…I am sure you have work to do.”

She closed the door and the spin boys went their separate ways.

***

“CJ?”

Carol buzzed her intercom. She looked up from the itinerary.

“Yeah?”

“Leo is here.”

“Yeah. You can go ahead home Carol; sorry for keeping you so late.”

Leo walked in, closing the door behind him. She didn’t look up from her paperwork.

“It’s been crazy here for a while huh?” he asked.

Step one with Leo when he didn’t know how to handle her was to lighten the mood. CJ didn’t look up.

“Mmm hmm. Since January 20, 1998. I fear the day it is not mass hysteria.”

“Look at me Claudia Jean.”

She did, and her face was a blank canvas. That beautiful face with the dark blue eyes. Those eyes hid such love, and such pain.

“Nine points. You had every right to do a victory lap in there waving your flag. What stopped you?”

“What the hell are you talking about? That is not my style and you should know that by now. Anyway, the President had no idea that my opinion was the only one that gave him a chance in hell. Lopping off the East German judge…bullshit Leo.”

“It’s my job.” He replied.

“Sometimes your job sucks.”

“That is only because of…”

“You think it would be OK to exclude me, and ignore my input and opinions if we weren’t fucking. I was a fucking architect of this plan too Leo.”

“Don’t say that.” his voice got darker.

“What? I just said a lot, you have be more specific.”

“It is more than that CJ. You're mad, and I accept your anger, but don’t you ever belittle what you mean to me. I love you.”

Her face softened at the sound of those three words. They certainly had no alone time in the past couple of weeks since her last bungle. There had been Mandy’s memo, Danny’s article, mandatory minimums, the reemergence of the erstwhile Mrs. Toby Ziegler, Sam and the call girl, and polling. Not even mentioning the scary new threats coming in concerning Charlie and Zoey.

“I miss you.”

“You know where I live Leo. This sneaking around when you have time, is really starting to get to me.”

“I…I thought you might not want to see me. We have all been under such pressure; I didn’t think our fighting over personal things would make it better.”

“So you disappear? It doesn’t work that way Leo…you know it doesn’t work that way with me.”

He cleared his throat.

“I know, and I'm sorry. Can you come over here and remind me of how stupid I've been.”

CJ smiled, though she didn’t want to. She got up from her desk and walked toward Leo. Once she was in his arms, she could hear him exhale.

“I love you too Leo.”

“I'm sorry baby.”

They kissed. Soft, tender touching of the lips until CJ took hold of the sides of Leo’s face and kissed him passionately. His hands slid down from her back to her backside, squeezing. CJ moaned into the kiss, pushing her body closer to Leo.

“CJ, you're going…”

Toby stopped dead in his tracks as CJ and Leo reluctantly untangled their tongues.

“Why didn’t you knock?” CJ asked.

“Because I didn’t assume that you would be in here making out with your boss.”

“Well I was, and even if I were in here scratching my ass you still knock!”

“See…you're screwing the boss and you wonder why we…”

“Say what you have to, you son of a bitch!”

Leo stepped between them.

“Stop it right now.” He said. “This behavior is unacceptable.”

“My behavior is unacceptable?” Toby asked. “You're tonguing CJ.”

“Watch it Toby.”

“What? It’s all the truth, everyone knows. Why am I the bad guy because I can see it’s not right?”

“Shut up!” CJ exclaimed.

“CJ.” Leo looked at her and she saw the love in his hazel eyes. “Stop it please. Toby, if this is not White House business you should just go.”

Toby turned and left without another word. CJ let out a primal scream of frustration.

“Feel better now?”

“Not even close.”

“It’s after midnight, just go home. Run a bath, have a glass of something, and listen to Elton John. I’ll be there soon.”

“I don’t…”

“Go home CJ. I think it is best after the past couple of weeks you’ve had. You need to be at the top of your game again tomorrow morning. Come here baby.”

He held out his hand and she took it.

“I’ll come over later and hold you while you sleep. I promise.”

“Don't make me promises Leo, not right now. I don’t need to be held; I need you to break me in two.”

“Whatever you want CJ. Just go home.”

He kissed her softly and left the office.

***

She wanted to ignore the phone but it was almost impossible with her job.

“CJ Cregg.”

“Can I apologize?”

“You won't mean it.”

“I just…”

“Toby, don’t bother. I've had a long couple of days and I don’t want to dance around this with you. I thought we were OK.”

“He’s going to be there with you tonight, isn’t he?”

“I am not going to allow you to be a voyeur in this relationship. Goodnight Toby.”

She hung up the phone, closed her eyes, and dunked her head underwater. When she reemerged Leo was leaning on the doorframe. The scream escaped her lips before she could yank it back.

“I was giving you another 10 seconds before I dove in.”

“I don’t want to talk.”

She stood, dripping as she stepped out of the tub. CJ wiped most of the water off with a fluffy towel, pulled the tub plug, and walked naked into her bedroom. Leo followed her with his eyes.

“Come to bed Leo, and leave the clothes.”

CJ slid under the covers, watching as Leo took off his suit jacket, shoes, tie, dress shirt, undershirt, slacks, and trouser socks. He stood in front of her naked.

“Is that supposed to impress me Mr. McGarry?”

“No. Does it matter what it looks like?”

“No. Can you work it?”

“You tell me.”

“Dunno. You're pretty far away.”

Leo smiled, surprising CJ when he slid into bed on her side, right on top of her. He kissed her passionately and the tension melted from the both of them. CJ stroked behind his ears, running her fingers through his hair. It has just been a while; foreplay wasn’t on either of their minds. Leo thrust inside of her and CJ cried out in the dark room.

“Say my name baby.” Leo grunted as he pumped in and out of her.

“Make me.”

Leo pushed her thighs up. His thrust deeper, taking his hand and massaging her clit.

“Oh God…Leo!” she whimpering.

“There you go baby. I love when you do that.”

“Leo! Leo!”

She was climaxing underneath him and Leo spilled inside her. CJ held him close, kissing his face repeatedly.

“I love you.” She whispered.

“I love you too. Am I allowed to move, because I think I may have a Charlie horse?”

“Don’t even think about it mister.”

They lay there as the phone ringing pierced the dark, silent room. After 4 rings the machine answered.

‘This is CJ Cregg. Please leave a message.’

“It’s me. I don’t know how the hell I am supposed to feel about this, but…you're wrong CJ it is not because I still have feelings for you. Of course, I have feelings for you. I just…do you think this is going to lead anywhere but you getting hurt and I am tired of you getting hurt. Call me please, unless he’s there.”

“He?” Leo looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Stop. Move.”

Leo moved over to the other side of the bed. CJ reached to stroke his chest, turning over on her side.

“Toby is going to get over it. If he doesn’t then he doesn’t. I have never lived my life for him and I cannot start in the middle of this chaos.”

“If this is too much for you CJ…” Leo couldn’t finish his sentence.

“Shut up. Don’t you ever make love to me and then say something like that.”

“OK. We should get some sleep.”

He pulled her into his arms and closed his eyes. He loved holding her, feeling her close and the sound of her breathing and the feel of her arms around him. Still, he knew neither of them would be getting much sleep tonight.

***

“CJ, could I speak to you please?”

CJ looked up at Mandy and nodded. She walked in and closed the door.

“I'm not going to be taking the Miami trip.” She said.

“Why not?”

“That Friday will be my last day. I've been offered a job in San Francisco and I am going to take it.”

“Alright.”

“This hasn’t been a comfortable working environment for some time; it would just be best to cut my losses. The offer is lucrative and I think it is time to move on.”

“The private sector?” CJ asked.

“Cochran Entertainment, do you know them?”

“It’s an excellent company.” CJ said. If you liked sharks. Mandy Hampton would fit in perfectly.

“Yeah. Well, I have already spoken with the President and Leo. I thought you should be next in case the press asked questions. Should I prepare a statement or something?”

“I doubt that will be necessary, but I will let you know if it is. Thanks Mandy.”

She went to leave but stopped.

“Be careful CJ.”

“I'm sorry.”

CJ rubbed her eyes…she wasn’t running on much sleep. She could only blame herself for that.

“I'm just saying, working around here is not easy if you are someone’s ex.”

“I understand.”

“There’s a lot of resentment…they all want his attention.”

No one was talking to Mandy right now, and CJ knew that. She was most likely making assumptions from the top of her head.

“We are separating work from personal life and I don’t want to have this conversation right now.”

Especially since they weren’t separating work from personal life. At least not doing a very good job of it.

“Just be careful. You are a woman in a man’s world and you are sleeping with the second most powerful man in the world. When the press finds out there is going to be a lot of damage control. Not even mentioning the next time you get pushed out.”

CJ looked at her with dead blue eyes.

“You know what Mandy, girl talk was never your forte and now is not a good time to start.”

“Sure. Thank you CJ.”

“Mmm hmm.”

Mandy walked out and CJ took a deep breath. As much as it pained her, Mandy was right. She loved him so much but this couldn’t lead to anywhere but her heartache.

***

“We’re going to talk.”

Leo walked into Toby’s office and closed the door. The Communications Director looked up from the skeleton speech for Senator Robert Dalton’s 60th birthday party. Speech was too strong a word; it was more like comments.

“No, I don’t think so. I am up to my neck today. This is not professional so it goes on the backburner for me right now. In fact, it doesn’t exist.”

“This rift between the two of you is hurting her.” Leo said.

“Obviously you don’t know her too well…this is going to piss her off.”

“I know that. I'm willing to incur her wrath.”

“Well, aren’t you sweet?”

“Toby, what the hell is your problem? This, what’s happening between CJ and I, has nothing to do with you.”

“It has something to do with me when I have to be there to pick up the pieces of her heart and ego when you hurt her.”

“Stop attempting to rescue her; she is a grown woman.”

“What is it Leo? Is it the legs…the legs are nice. The way she squeals when you touch just the right spot. Is it her laugh when Mickey thinks he has a disease only donkeys get in Hannah and Her Sisters?”

“It is none of your business. I could personally give a damn what you think but CJ is bothered. Why do you insist on putting in your two cents? You don’t have to accept it, but you can't keep knifing her in the side.”

“What is going on with CJ and I is none of your business.” Toby countered.

“If you hurt her you are going to wish you kept your opinion to yourself.”

Toby stood from his desk.

“Don’t threaten me Leo. I mean it.”

“We used to be friends Toby? Why is it so hard…?”

“She deserves better. She deserves someone who will always put her first, and that will never be you. You're just going to hurt her and if you love her like you say you would break it off.”

“Like you did? I can't put her first Toby, and she knows it. I am certainly, however, never going to replace her with a substitute.”

There was a twitch in Toby’s jaw and his eyes turned black.

“If you weren’t my boss I would knock you on your ass.”

“Go ahead Toby, do it. Get it out. Don’t assume it will be easy.”

“Get the fuck out! I hope you and CJ have a great life, you can go to hell.”

“I think…”

“I think if you say one more word I am going to knock you on your ass.”

They stood, saying nothing to each other. Leo cleared his throat.

“Stay away from her Toby. Don’t call her or come to her office if you are just going to harass her. I mean it, because the next time it happens you are going to see a very bad side of me.”

Leo walked out of the office. Toby threw a large paperweight at the door, listening to the glass shatter against the wood. He had some goddamn nerve. She loved him; she loved Leo McGarry. Had Toby been blinded for so long that he lost both of them? How could his nose been so pressed to the grindstone that he missed CJ fall in love with Leo? What did she see in him? Did she surrender to him; put her guard down? Was Leo privy to her secret smiles, words, and spots? Did he linger inside her long after climax talking of political initiatives and 70s era TV? Did he read her poetry, articles from Time, and the crazy words on the back of shampoo bottles that were scarcely pronounceable? Did they slow dance to John Coltrane or Anita Baker, CJ barefoot and glorious?

“Toby?”

It was Ginger on the intercom.

“Yeah?”

“Congresswoman Wyatt on 2.”

He sighed, running his hand across the top of his baldhead.

“Yeah.”

***

“Mandy’s leaving; CJ and Toby are fighting; CJ and Leo are…I don’t even know; and Charlie and Zoey are being threatened. That is only what is happening within these walls.”

Josh leaned back in his chair and sipped a Pepsi. Sam sat across from him with an Italian hoagie.

“Are we going to replace Mandy?” he asked.

Josh shrugged. He was not going to reveal to anyone, not even his best friend, just how glad he was to see Mandy go. Josh was like a barnyard dog sometimes. He did not like people stepping into his space, and the enemy was unacceptable. Mandy deserted them during the campaign, went to work with Lloyd Russell, the enemy as well as her new whatever. He wanted to shout and be mad at Leo and Toby when they asked her back. However, one was not allowed to shout and be mad at Leo and Toby. Of course, now they were mad at each other and all hell was about to break loose.

“Hey, come on back Josh. Where did you go?”

Josh re-focused his eyes on Sam, who was wearing a concerned smile.

“Are you back?”

“Sorry, I know its work but I can't wait to get to Miami. 48 hours of sun and fun. At least I can delude myself into thinking that. I'm fine Sam.”

“OK. Toby and Leo are going to explode soon.”

Josh rolled his eyes.

“It is going to be ugly. I have two things to say about that. Toby is in the wrong and if had once had CJ’s heart I would be willing to act like an ass to get it back.”

Sam nodded. He was all for Leo and CJ’s attempt at something real. He knew what it was like to care for a woman and be told that any attempt at a relationship was unacceptable. He sighed, thinking about Laurie and what they’d been through the past couple of days. Right now, she was taking a well-deserved vacation in Barbados with her real friends.

“Looks like I am not the only one that is distracted.” Josh said.

“Yeah.” Sam replied. “Sorry. I had better get back to my office. I am working on two Miami speeches and the last thing I need is Toby mad at me. Beer tonight?”

“Shots. And the Knicks are on tonight. We’ll get Danny in there and relax.”

“The TV in Toby’s office is better and he may need the distraction.” Sam suggested.

“OK. If he is not completely unbearable, we will invite him. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yeah.”

Sam walked out of the office as Donna walked in with the afternoon schedule.

***

“Thank you Mr. President.”

CJ walked out of the Oval Office, all prepared to say something funny and flirty to Charlie. Toby took a gentle hold on her elbow.

“I would like to talk to you.” He said.

“OK. Let me go please.”

They walked to her office and she let him in before closing her door.

“What do you need?”

CJ dropped food in Gail’s bowl and sat behind her desk. Toby took a deep breath.

“I'm sorry for being a jackass.”

“I doubt it.”

“Well, I can't help that.”

“It is none of your business Toby…when are you going to get that through your bald skull?”

“Hey now, we do not need bald jokes. I am not going to make Amazon jokes.”

“Sorry.”

“Yeah. Look, I don’t want you to be hurt. I've been through it before and it pains me.”

“I don’t need you to always be there to sweep up the broken glass.” CJ said. “I mean, you’ve been there for me, and you know how much you mean to me. But…”

“I know. Do you…are you in love with him?”

“Yes I am. God Toby, don’t you think I have spent too much time running through all the worse case scenarios in my head? They all have me being slammed really hard. Its worth it, because I've never felt this way in my life.”

There was a wounded look on Toby’s face; he looked as if he’d been punched.

“If it doesn’t work, and there is a lot against us, Leo will be just as hurt as I will be. This is not a one-sided hero worship thing.”

“Yeah, I know. He came to me today and asked me to back off.”

“He gets protective sometimes. I did not ask him to do that, but I will ask him not to again.” CJ replied.

What! Toby’s mind screamed. Aren't you pissed? Don’t you want to yell at him and tell him that you don’t need to be rescued!

“I love you Tobus. You are my best friend and we got here together. I will always want you to be a part of my life. That doesn’t mean that I want you in the middle of it.”

“I know. It is hard when we all work together.” He replied.

“I guess it is. Just try as hard as you can, OK? Really, our relationship as friends is independent of my relationship with Leo.”

“Yeah. OK, I have a lot of work to do.”

Toby walked out without another word. He was back in a few minutes.

“We have beer, pizza and basketball in my office. By the way, I still have your soul and I am not letting it go without a hell of a fight. Honestly, I think pound for pound I could take Leo out.”

CJ looked at him and laughed.

“He knows military moves Tobus.” CJ was still laughing.

“So do I. We’ll see what happens if he tries to take it. Oh, Danny is going to be in my office for the game. You're still welcome of course.”

“I’ll think about it, considering I know nothing about basketball and you guys get on my last nerve. Keep the soul Toby, its for soul mates are for, but Leo has my heart. I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah.”

He cleared his throat and walked out of the room.

***

“Knock, knock.”

Leo looked up at CJ standing in his doorway and did his best to hide the enormous smile. He would have to get better control of himself in her presence.

“Where’s Margaret?” she asked.

“I sent her home. CJ, can we get out of here?”

“It’s a bit early, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but tonight I don’t care. I've already spoken to the President. Is there anything pressing on your schedule?”

“Everything is pressing…lets go.”

He grabbed his briefcase and walked back with CJ to her office.

“Don’t you have a jacket? The nights have been chilly.”

“I'm fine. C’mon baby, before someone finds an excuse to keep us here.”

They rushed out as if it were an emergency. Toby watched as they snuck out and then went back to his office, lit a cigar and sat to watch basketball with three people he had tentative relationships with at best.

“Hey.” Charlie stuck his head in. “I heard Patrick Ewing was playing tonight.”

“Come on in.” Toby said.

He liked Charlie a lot, never felt the urge to kill him as he did everyone else at least once a day.

CJ and Leo climbed into the back of his chauffeured Lincoln.

“Home Lewis.”

“Yours or Ms. Cregg’s sir?”

“The Watergate please.”

‘Yes sir.”

Lewis pulled off as Leo pushed up the partition. He pulled CJ close to him and kissed her mouth.

“Long day.” She breathed, pressing her forehead to his.

“Well, we are going to get you home, naked, and in a very big bed.”

“I want yummy crab cakes.”

“Whatever you want. We can see what’s on cable. I promise, no CNN tonight.”

“Do you get the porn package?” she asked with a giggle.

“I never bothered to check.” He unbuttoned the first two buttons on her blouse to kiss her neck. “You see, there is this beautiful woman I know who blows my mind…I don’t need the fake women on TV.”

“Really? Does she talk dirty to you Leopold? Can she possess you? Do you scream her name at the top of your lungs when you're coming?”

“Yes, yes, and oh yes.”

CJ sighed, letting him wrap her in his embrace. She still didn’t know how he did that, especially with the height discrepancies. Lewis pulled up to the back of the Watergate. They went through the employee entrance, down a long hallway, and onto the service elevator up to the penthouse.

“Leo?”

“Yeah baby?”

He slipped in his keycard and pushed the door open.

“I'm really tired of doing that.”

“I know.”

“We need to have a serious discussion about going public. I think if we control it, it will be much better than showing up in the papers.”

“We’ve been very careful.” Leo replied, watching as she kicked her shoes. She took off her jacket, blouse, and slacks. In a matter of moments, she was down to a camisole and panties.

“So were Sam and Laurie. We don’t need anymore damage control in this Administration. I certainly don’t need anymore funny looks.”

She put her feet up on the arm of the couch, and rolled down her stockings. You could have knocked Leo over with a feather.

“Honey, you have the funniest look on your face.” She said as she threw the strips of nylon on the coffee table.

“You're beautiful, I can't help it. I pinch myself and open my eyes but you are still there.”

CJ smiled, walking over and kissing him.

“Get me food and drink Leopold. I'm going for a quick shower.”

“White wine?”

“Mmm hmm.”

“OK. Put that back on when you're done CJ.”

“I actually thought I would run around in the buff.” She replied laughing.

Leo shook his head.

“This outfit is better.” He said.

“Is there such a thing as better than naked?”

“For me, yes. With you, most definitely. Go shower, I will get dinner.”

“I love you.” She said before going into the bedroom.

“I love you too baby.”

Leo patted his pocket where the ring was. Now was not the time…he would not do it until it was perfect. He missed his first opportunity, but the second would be the stuff of memories.

“Leo?”

“Yeah?”

“I changed my mind.”

“How so?”

“We’re showering together, and then I’ll eat.”

“Yes ma'am.”

Leo walked into the bedroom, a smile on his face as he began to undress.

***


End file.
